Saturday, February 14, 2009

Life in the City

Another day, another measly rotten stinking dollar!

I like to sleep with the television on. That way if I wake up during the night and can’t get back to sleep, I don’t have to do too much painful soul searching. I can always watch television.

Not that I have television dreams. I don’t dream that I am living in an I Love Lucy sitcom. After I am asleep my dreams are my own, but I am particular which programs are appropriate for sleeping. Most any broadcast TV as long as it isn’t wrestling, or sporting events, quiz shows, or infomercials. Cartoons are objectionable, too, for obvious reasons.

My friend Albert also sleeps with the TV on, and I have actually seen him wake from a sound sleep to change the channel and then go back to sleep. To me the television provides sound conditioning. It drowns out outside noises that might otherwise wake me up and covers up the sounds coming from within.

People who may be awake when I have gone to sleep want to turn the TV down so it won’t disturb me. They also want to talk in whispers and not make noise. They have already learned to not turn the TV off because I will wake instantly and want the television back on. They like to turn the lights down, too, but they are on shaky ground. I have night blindness. If I wake up with the lights out and the TV off, I will panic. I won’t know where I am, only a sense of foreboding and danger.

Philosophically, sleeping with the TV on reassures me that I am not homeless or in jail, two circumstances where sleeping with the TV on is impossible. Having experienced both, I made a pact with myself despite the power shortages or running out of oil, whenever it is possible I will sleep with the TV on. When we were moving and had no access to radio or television, the silence got so deafening I had to call up my friend Art to come and talk to me because I couldn’t sleep. So it goes for life in the big city.

Sitting around home I have quite a lot of time on my hands so I am always on the lookout for new ways to make extra money. I have always been fascinated by the ads in the classified section that read, “Make extra money at home in your spare time stuffing envelopes.” Boy this is great, I would think to myself. This must be some kind of mail order corporation that sends you stuff to mail. There was no investment necessary, only the obligatory $5 for the information. So finally I sent in.

I got a very nice letter and a small pamphlet in return. The letter cordially thanked me for my interest and the pamphlet gave instructions how to place small ads in the classified section saying, “Make extra money at home in your spare time stuffing envelopes.” When they send you the $5, stuff an envelope with your pamphlet, mail it back to them post haste and renew your classified ad.

I had to admit that really hit the nail on the head!

39 Comments:

Blogger gilbertlemon said...

Great minds think alike........................................

3:07 PM  
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6:52 PM  
Blogger 冷淡 said...

Everyone fastens where there is gain.........................................

2:48 AM  
Blogger 傢伙 said...

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4:31 AM  
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7:20 AM  
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4:05 PM  
Blogger 婉婷婉婷 said...

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7:42 PM  
Blogger Art Rosch said...

"Earn 5,000 a week from your computer, no inventory required,
send for free CD."

http://blogofascination.blogspot.com/search/label/bankruptcy

Got to admit the stuffing envelopes scam is brilliant.

5:06 PM  
Blogger 雅婷雅婷宛佳 said...

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5:14 AM  
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5:48 PM  
Blogger 佩璇 said...

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10:25 PM  
Blogger juliancu said...

這一生中有多少人擦肩而過?而朋友是多麼可貴啊! ............................................................

3:04 AM  
Blogger 皇銘 said...

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. ............................................................

7:32 PM  
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人有兩眼一舌,是為了觀察倍於說話的緣故。..................................................................

8:34 AM  
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5:57 PM  
Blogger 文群文群 said...

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12:51 AM  
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7:09 PM  
Blogger 政翰政翰 said...

當一個人內心能容納兩樣相互衝突的東西,這個人便開始變得有價值了。............................................................

1:49 AM  
Blogger 王名仁 said...

It takes all kinds to make a world.............................................................

7:13 PM  
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10:10 PM  
Blogger 溫緯李娟王季 said...

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11:57 PM  
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9:47 AM  
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9:14 PM  
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不費勞力而得者,唯貧困而已................................................

1:40 PM  
Blogger 楊儀卉 said...

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11:52 PM  
Blogger 余憲希余憲希 said...

一個人的快樂,不是因為他擁有的多,而是他計較的少。..................................................

9:29 PM  
Blogger 蔡苡玄 said...

人們不缺少力量,他們缺少意志。..................................................

7:47 PM  
Blogger 王順蔡秉源如 said...

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8:51 PM  
Blogger 家唐銘 said...

鞋匠能作好鞋子,因為他只做鞋,不做別的。..................................................

11:48 PM  
Blogger 翔馨陳陳翔馨陳陳 said...

與人相處不妨多用眼睛說話,多用嘴巴思考,............................................................

5:13 PM  
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5:31 AM  
Blogger 文瓊王王慧山 said...

Many a little makes a mickle..................................................................

7:31 PM  
Blogger 怡楊雯 said...

Many a true word is spoken in jest..................................................................

7:32 PM  
Blogger 璇陳陳陳竹 said...

人們不缺少力量,他們缺少意志。..................................................

2:03 AM  
Blogger 張王雅竹欣虹 said...

從人生中拿走友誼,猶如從生活中移走陽光......................................................................

2:31 AM  
Blogger 孫邦柔 said...

你不能決定生命的長度,但你可以控制它的寬度..................................................................

2:46 PM  
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Check out Dicey and Paprika's YouTube videos for true strangeness and relief from insomnia.

12:33 PM  

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